Focus: The Power of Forgiveness | October 22 Forgiving Yourself—Bearing and Releasing the Deepest Burdens
Every journey of forgiveness leads to the hardest place:
facing and releasing the burdens we lay on ourselves. Beyond pain from others,
the regrets and shame we carry can haunt us for decades—becoming the
battleground of mercy and grace. Our inability to forgive ourselves becomes the
heaviest chain, stifling relationships, callings, and our sense of worthiness
before God.
For years, I carried guilt so unbearable, I could hardly
speak it: the pain of two abortions, forced by circumstance and manipulation.
The trauma ran deep—one miscarriage, one abortion, one life birth, another
miscarriage, another abortion, and finally one more life birth. Each pregnancy
came with haunting words from my former husband: “You do not come home until
you abort the pregnancy.” The last scheduled abortion was in 1987. In that
clinic, God intervened through something as simple as a mural—an idyllic brook
painted on the wall. Suddenly, I heard in my spirit, “That brook is life, and I
gave it life. Everything on this earth I have given life, and you are taking a
life away.”
I left the procedure room, refusing to go through with it.
The nurse who had been angry became supportive, cried, and gave me information
and encouragement. Later, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Yet the pain
and shame lingered for years. Until 2003, my soul held the burden and false
belief that I didn’t deserve happiness or forgiveness. But when I finally
forgave myself, everything changed. The Gospel and science became real: I was
free. My journey became ministry, inspiring my book, "Awaken the
Silence When Silence Isn't Golden".
Bible Verses
Self-forgiveness is both biblical and vital. David’s Psalm
51 models self-forgiveness alongside confession. Paul echoes, “There is
therefore now no condemnation…”; mercy must be given to ourselves as fully as
to others. The fruit of the Spirit cannot grow in ground poisoned by
unaddressed shame.
Harvard Women’s Health Watch’s "Not just good for the
soul" affirms this truth: self-forgiveness is “linked with less
psychological distress, including fewer symptoms of depression.” Dr. Craig
Malkin shares that authentic self-forgiveness involves remorse, apology, and
making amends—not excusing, but restoring self-esteem through compassion and
honest action.
Call to Action
- Allow
yourself to feel genuine remorse—admit what happened and allow yourself to
grieve.
- Offer
apology (to God, to yourself, and, if wise, to others involved).
- Make
amends where possible (write a letter, seek reconciliation, or help others
through your story).
Read Psalm 51 aloud. Pray for a new spirit and a clean
heart. Listen for God’s reminder of His mercy and grace—greater than your
failures. If you feel led, share your journey with a confidant, support group,
or through ministry. Let your story awaken healing in others as well.
Three Things to Remember
- The
deepest shame can be released through confession, mercy, and
self-forgiveness—Scripture and science affirm this healing path.
- God’s
grace and the Spirit’s fruit are greater than shame and regret, offering
new life and hope in any circumstance.
- By
releasing your burden and giving yourself grace, your story becomes a
testimony that awakens hope in others.
- “Not just good for the soul,” Harvard Women's Health Watch (Harvard Health Publishing, 2023). https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/not-just-good-for-the-soul
- "Awaken the Silence When Silence Isn't Golden"
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