Focus: The Power of Forgiveness | October 12 Self-Control: Surrendering the Last Word

Self-Control: Surrendering the Last Word

Forgiveness is not a personality trait it is a supernatural result of walking by the Spirit and daily surrendering the need to have the last word. Our flesh drives us to defend ourselves, replay old offenses, and retaliate or withdraw when wronged. Self-control, the final fruit in Paul’s classic list, is the quiet power to stop the cycle and let Christ have the final say.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23, KJV)

Unforgiveness almost always masquerades as self-protection or “justice,” but Scripture unveils its spiritual reality:  

“For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry...” (1 Samuel 15:23, KJV)

Much of our trouble in relationships comes from ingrained patterns: raised voices, cutting sarcasm, silent withdrawal. Neuroscience and Harvard’s clinical research confirm: people who respond impulsively are more likely to suffer high blood pressure, insomnia, and depression, while those who deliberately pause using self-control recover faster emotionally and sustain far healthier relationships. Emotional “venting” may sound cathartic, but it entrenches pain; forgiveness, by contrast, frees the body as well as the soul.

Paul warned,  

“If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” (Romans 12:18, KJV)

It is not always possible to “fix it” with others. But peace is possible inside the believer through the Spirit’s gift of self-control. Even Jesus, in His greatest moments of unjust accusation and torture, surrendered both narrative and outcome to the Father’s will praying for His persecutors instead of cursing them.

Bible Verses

- Galatians 5:22-23:  

  “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”

- 1 Samuel 15:23:  

  “For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry...”

- Romans 12:18:  

  “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.”

Call to Action

Before your next potential conflict, pray for self-control not just in words but in tone, email, text, or body language. Write out a prayer inviting the Holy Spirit to interrupt your natural response in the moment. If possible, return to someone you hurt with an apology or a gentle word; if not, record your decision to refuse the last word and trust the Spirit for peace.

Keep a daily log for one week of how often you’re tempted to escalate, and what happens when you choose silence or gentle words instead.

Three Things to Remember

- Self-control is strength not weakness and is the Spirit’s secret weapon for peacemakers.

- Grace grows in the pause; rebellion flourishes in rush and reaction.

- Releasing the last word allows Christ to heal where argument never could.

Link to study 

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/the-power-of-forgiveness